Here's an excerpt from this week's Inkspots column by Molly MacDonald:
...However, my hands and feet kept turning to blocks of ice the last few weeks. So I ordered a hand-warmer on the internet. It came with rather puzzling directions. Turned out it was made in China and their interpreter must have had a hangover when he translated the instructions. Or else, he let his five-year-old take a stab at it. Here are the directions in their entirety:..
Read it in its entirety in the Jan. 14 Kossuth County Advance.